I went to a new bakery today. It had opened recently and our friend Fa told us how good their bread was. It turns out, she was right, it's the best bread in town. The owner is German, had one day decided to go on a pilgrimage to Sant Iago, passed by Le Puy and never returned to her home country. She speaks impeccable French, so she must have settled here and years later, this bakery was for sale, and now she's selling the best bread in town right at the foot of the cathedral. This was our second visit, the owner is cheerful, we buy some more bread and a coffee, the space is minimalistic, a stylish young woman is reading a book to my right, as an older lady comes through the door. She is small, has a colorful elegant blazer and black boots with metal ornaments, just the right amount to be playful and fresh. Her nose is imposing and could just as well be printed on an old Roman coin from the region, big piercing blue eyes are looking for contact and commanding attention. She orders three slices of bread. With olives. With walnuts. And one made of rye. The owner is starting to package them: "No no no, just put them on a platter. I'll taste them here and take some tea and sit over there by the window". She makes me smile because she makes me think of my friend J. "I love bread!", she says with evident joy in her eyes. Yep, just like J! I smile back and tell the owner that I would have done the same if I had known that one could order slices here! The lady comes over and asks me if I'm from here. "Yes", I say, "how is the walnut bread?" "Delicious, delicious, but tell me young man, do you know what *boulangerie engagee* means?" She speaks clearly, all sounds neatly pronounced and with that care for playful nuance that old people carried over from the past where language was more than grunting and memes. "I don't know I must admit, this shop is still very new and it's our second time!", "New is relative", she says, "I remember coming here 50 years ago. It was already a bakery then!" I offer to inquire about the description of this shop but she just waves her hand: "I'll ask, don't worry", makes her way through the numerous clients dropping in one after another while being attracted by the two large vaulted windows and makes the owner explain to all of us that it means the bread here is carefully chosen to be organic and full grain, as healthy as possible with as many fibers as possible. Recently I have read an article saying that roughly 30% of people feel like leading a happy life, another 30% a meaningful one, and about 15% an exciting one. Simplifying a lot this translates to a focus on friends & family, dedicating long parts of life to a continuously exercised activity or chasing newness and change. 2% report of doing all three. I have always felt like leaning towards excitement. Being in one place for more than a year makes me anxious, I don't care about family and friends have not been a concern for most of my life. While I felt good about myself, I was also deeply unsatisfied and anxious. Now I'm once again at a moment where decisions in these dimensions have to be made and I'm not so sure anymore in which category I belong. These last three years I have been living in a small and pittoresque town and for the first time made enough friendships to have a good laugh every time I go out of the house and know a couple of houses and gardens of various friends. While I'm not really close to anyone, I still get the feeling of belonging. I have a number of what I consider good friends strewn throughout the world with technology binding us together quite well and the possibility for rare but meaningful common activities. And finally, I have a routine, simple, motivating tasks that I take great care of performing and which give me the feeling that I'm building up a future while enjoying the moments that I dedicate to each of them. All in all, it's a small, humble life with a good amount of comfort. I don't expect me to be exceptional but even so, I sometimes wonder if there’s another path calling me. 申し訳ありませんが、提供されたテキストは翻訳するには長すぎます。翻訳するテキストを短くし、特定のパラグラフを選んで改めてリクエストしていただけますか？ 出会うたび新しい人々や場所、新たな考えが私にかつてないほどのエネルギーを与えてくれることを知っています。しかし、私はそれを目的を持って行いたいと思っています。たとえば、旅行作家になったり、ポール・エルデシュのように放浪する科学者になったりすることです。このライフスタイルには、多くの悲しみが包まれています。傷つく人もいるでしょうし、一生私の人生から消えてしまう人もいて、結局誰とも本当に親しくなることができないでしょう。言い換えれば、幸せは常に不安定な基盤の上にあり、未来の自分の気持ちについて常に不安を抱いているようなものです。 私は活動能力がそれほど高くありません。つまり、2週間旅行した後、リラックスして再考するために1か月ほど休みたいのです。日常になじむ瞬間と、体験を考え、結論に結び付け、理解する時間が必要なのです。 一方、1か月以上家にいると退屈します。人生を疑い始めます。 "人生って長くなるんだろうなぁ"という愚かな考えが浮かびます。それにオフのとき私を正気に保つのは単調な日常です。 私は決して整理整頓が得意な人間ではありませんでした。創造的で興味深い人間になるためには整理整頓するのは良い考えではないと思っていました。しかし、日々何かのスキルを積み重ねる簡単な指標があり、すべての目標が時間を掛けることによって達成可能であると知り、練習と反復の瞬間が後の興奮とユニークな成果に結びつくことを知ることは、私にとって非常に大きな力です。それは私に意味を与えてくれますし、その意味は私が自分自身のことをどう感じているかに基づいています。定期的で意識的な自己作業が、私に人生に意味を持たせてくれます。習慣のおかげで、冗談を言うのも、多言語を話すのも、精神的にも身体的にも魅力的になるのも私です。他の人と楽しむことができ、一人の時にはそのことを本当に得意になるまで楽しみ、創造的でいることができます。 でも、どれか一つのことに非常に勤勉になり、クラスで最高になることは想像できません。競争したり、自分を市場に出したり、頂点に登り詰めたりすることは望んでいません。プロとして生きること、毎日何時間も一つのことをやり続けることは考えられません。 だから、家庭を持ち、家族や知人と一緒にいることを希望しつつも、気が向いた時には外に飛び出したいと思っています。帰ってきたときにまた自分自身の体と心に取り組むことができるのであれば、刺激的で新しい体験と会話をしたいのです。 友人、家族、近隣に対してより確固たる愛着を持つ人は常に存在するでしょう。私はいつもアウトサイダーであるでしょう。全てにおいてより意味のある人生を持つ人、専門家やスペシャリストが存在し、私はいつも一緒にふざけているようなものです。狂ったような人々が存在し、未曾有の偉業を成し遂げたり、一生に一度の冒険をしたりしている中、私の人生は穏やかで快適でしょう。でも一つか二つの場所に所属していると感じたり、話をしたいと思っている友人がグループにいる、誰も信じられないようなユニークな話を1つや2つ持っているかもしれません。それも悪くないです、実際に！