I feel like writing today. Recently I have been surprised by life again and I need to straighten out my thoughts into lines of letters. Sunday, my gf says: let's take the car for 60 minutes to go to some small village lost in the highlands with flat lakes, swamps and crooked conifer trees to drink specialty coffee. I was like: let us instead work and be productive and reasonable human-beings who will be remembered by posterity for their relentless dedication to work. Just kidding. At the coffee shop, I can't really tie a friendship with the acidic floral hues of Ethiopia coffee but I have a positive and comforting talk with my gf. It has been a while now that I am toppling from one day to the next like an egg you let roll from one hand to the other and she has been holding up that other hand. At some point during the recent turbulent past, she had decided to conjure all of her inner demons, line them up one next to the other and slap them from east to west with a force they're going to remember. I used to spend hours in monologues meant to make her feel comfortable in life, show her the light and beautiful possibilities of the future or focus her on the present, without avail. I burned out doing that, lost myself, got scared of the dark and fled out into the world to ask friends for help. She took this as a wake-up call that something needed to be done and started sorting out the trash in the house of her mind. And now? She has empathy for me and others. She tries to help because she feels like it, not expecting anything in return. She cuts negative influences down like a Ronin and has mental capacity left to pick me up when I struggle. I can afford to be weak now, not a superhero but a mere mortal who will sometimes pull and at other times need to be pulled. I find myself squeezing my lips in silent admiration, thinking something like "That's my girl!" because I did not expect to find a partner like this anymore. I always knew she's a one of a kind human being, extremely honest, intelligent and resourceful, but the truth is, if you don't manage your mental capacity ceding to your fears, you don't get anywhere. And if you let another person take over completely, not only are you prisoner of your own fears, but also those of this other person. So her demons were whipping us both around for years. Then I broke free and demanded a different life for myself, which I like. And then she did the same. Much like I consider myself only very recently a complete version of myself, I get this same feeling quite often about her now. After 3 coffees we move on to the [[Lac de Devesset]]. It is winter, only one other couple in sight. The clouds are gray and massive, light pierces them in a big-screen kung-fu spectacle. The melting snow has made the surrounding swamp-land even more extensive and we have to be careful not to leave a shoe behind, sucked into the ground to become an artifact to be dug up in a thousand years by someone who won't speak any of our languages. Leeside we meander through a forest of crooked pine trees and moss covered ground that I want to make love on whereas my gf prefers to dedicate herself to artistic photography. Part of the water is lightly frozen over. You can see through the ice, all the clouds and trees gaining soul-soothing symmetries on it's surface but if you listen carefully, it creaks and cracks with the rhythm of the rippling waves. It's so soft I need to form a funnel around the ear with my hands. Sitting on a stone slab, the calm is absolute. Mystery and mythology abound as my mind dips it's tentacles into the chilly water, simultaneously reaching to the depth of darkness as it stretches up to tickle an inviting cloud just above. The ripples are like a joyful dancer inviting you to take a few steps with her. A big water bird is taking off, tapping the water surface in regular intervals as I lean over for a kiss. Frankly, any one of these instants is enough to call life a success. Unfortunately they are fleeting just like our memories of them. I hope my lines can honor this one, make it last, and lead me to the next one. What if my days could be a chain of unforgettably simple moments and I could last, from now to the last day, holding hands with my past and future selves on a circular dance, my *Raumzeitreigen*?